One thing you’ll notice about my writing is the paucity of semicolons. I find them to be next to useless as punctuation. Periods and their relations and commas followed by conjunctions do a far better job.
I have something of an antipathy towards semicolons.
I find them ugly.
They remind me of watching my grandpa dress a wild turkey.
He would always cut the legs off in such a way as to leave the tendons hanging. If you pulled on the tendons, the foot would move.
When I look at a sentence with a semicolon in it, it reminds me of those severed turkey legs. If I held one horizontally, it would look a lot like a sentence with semicolon in it.
And it is for that reason I avoid semicolons.
I like commas. If I err at at all in my writing, it is the in the overuse–and possible misuse– of commas.
Commas are good.
I like yield signs.
And I am fine with using periods, question marks, and exclamation points as stop signs.
But throwing in something so unwieldy as a semicolon, well, that’s where I draw the line.
***
I was told in a creative writing seminar that a writer is allowed one semicolon per lifetime.
And I already used it.
And it was on something crappy that you’ll never read.
***
Oh damn!
I just used it again– look at the title of this post!
Can I have a mulligan?
***
Both of these are grammatically correct, but one of these looks better. (And I am not using a semicolon. I am merely being illustrative.
I like to make my sentences clear and concise; however, I cannot write extremely pared down sentences without sounding like a two-year-old.
I like to make my sentences clear and concise. However, I cannot write extremely pared down sentences without sounding like a two-year-old.
See how much nicer the second sentence looks.
And the punctuation has exactly the same effect in both pieces
If two types of punctuation have the same effect but one looks a lot better, choose the one that makes your piece look nice!
If you can avoid using a semicolon (which you almost always can), then don’t use one.
It’s not that difficult, is it?
***
Kurt Vonnegut on the semicolon: “All [semicolons] do is show that you’ve been to college.”
Grammar is sadly becoming a lost art with my generation and those coming after. This is indeed a refreshing piece of writing.
Hmmmm – two words come to mind here: Henry. James.
And that was the last person who ever used them well.
http://www.slate.com/id/2194087/
This thing looks like crap:
“It is evident then; that, if Atossa was the first inventress of the Epistles; these, that carry the name of Phalaris, who was so much older than her, must needs be an imposture.—But, if it be otherwise; that he does not describe me under those general reproaches; a small satisfaction shall content you; which I leave you to be the judge of. … Pray, let me hear from you; as soon as you can.”
It looks like crap because it’s from the 1770s, not because it uses semicolons.
I think many people don’t understand how to use punctuation when they write. They think all written language simply transcribes spoken language, so punctuation is just about “pauses” in speech. That explains why we see such horrible use of commas by some writers. (I’m thinking here about people who use a comma before the verb in a sentence.)
Here – have some James on dashes, semicolons, and commas –
“Dashes, it seems almost platitudinous to say, have their particular representative virtue, their quickening force, and, to put it roughly, strike both the familiar and the emphatic note, when those are the notes required, with a felicity beyond either the comma or the semicolon; though indeed a fine sense for the semicolon, like any sort of sense at all for the pluperfect tense and the subjunctive mood, on which the whole perspective in a sentence may depend, seems anything but common.”
Semicolons always look like crap.
I know how to use them, but I have better and far more attractive punctuation marks that do exactly the same job.
Here’s the fiull quote from Kurt Vonnegut:
“Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you’ve been to college.”
I don’t use them.
They are fine for old texts.
But they aren’t going to appear in anything I’ve written.
I’ve read that quote. I’m not impressed (although I love Vonnegut).
BTW – Duncan Hunter must have been channeling Vonnegut when he made his argument against repealing DADT on public radio a couple of weeks ago.
;
Duncan Hunter– the elder or the younger?
It makes no difference.
They are about the same.
I had not heard what Duncan Hunter the younger said, but I bet he wishes he hadn’t said it!
“Hermaphrodites have a choice”!
Whoa.
On the visual impact of semicolons:
“To understand the double role of the semicolon, take a conscious look at its makeup: clearly it separates, because its two elements—dot over comma—take up more vertical space than a comma and thus keep apart the words before it and after. Equally clearly it unites, because no capital letter and extra white space follow it as they follow the period. In its form you can read its function.” Jacques Barzun
Another reason why I don’t like them is that I once looked a decision from a court case. This was written by some justice on some state supreme court (I can’t remember which one).
It was so full of semicolons. It used them everywhere and often incorrectly. I think this judge needed a semicolonoscopy.
Blame the judge’s clerk, not the judge.
Edgar was onto something: http://books.google.com/books?id=UOzg2qITBPIC&pg=PA130#v=onepage&q=semicolon&f=false
I just learned that there is a rule among modern male writers. “Real men don’t use semicolons.” Google it. See how many hits you get.
Are you winking at me?
I love semi colons; they’re great.
;)
The only punctuation I love is the comma.
I think Vonnegut was partly right
Semi colon is a useless mutt.
But somewhere somehow, it still finds nice home.
I think I love the “thoughtus”, I mean this –
Ah, the comma, the separator of thought in an extended sentence, eg: a sentence paragraph by Dickens. On & on & on. ad infinitum. You can lose you mind keeping track of one of Charles’ rambles.
Thank you, but I am partial to a short sentence with a full stop.
The turkey leg aspect of the story is enough to make me think long and hard before using a semicolon again. I’ll never look at punctuation the same way… try as I might. (Any bias towards ellipses?)
The only bias I have is toward the semicolon.
I’ve thought it about it a bit more. It’s not just looks. I think the real reason is they give the writer too much of an excuse to load up a sentence.
Good point. I use them when I’m too lazy to tidy up my thoughts, and am admittedly guilty of semicolon-sentence-overload.
This is a great comic about the semicolon.
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/semicolon